Come Home
by svuobssesed
Summary: Her head bowed, Kathy thought of her beloved husband. Her guardian angel, and her savior. But another woman came to mind, the one that she couldn't help but think of along with her husband. The tears ran freely down her cheeks as she prayed. "Come home."


**a random (long) oneshot that i thought of as soon as i heard this song. so yeah, i hope you like it. and reviews are always nice. i mean, it only takes a couple of seconds, and they always make me smile, no matter what. so PLEASE review :) love you all!**

Kathy walks slowly into the silent church. It's dark; not even the stained glass is illuminated, seeing as the sun has long set. There's a single candle by the podium up front, so she feels her way through the aisle of pews. She falls to her knees, and thanks God quickly before starting to pray for what she really came for.

"Hello world

Hope you're listening

Forgive me if I'm young

For speaking out of turn

There's someone I've been missing

I think that the could be

The better half of me"

Elliot. Her husband of twenty years. Just the thought of him made her heart flutter with love; marriage hadn't dulled her feelings in the least. But she grew solemn once more of she thought of another woman; one that she couldn't not think of when she thought of her husband. Their two names were linked together in a way hers and her husband's would never be. "Elliot and Olivia," or "Benson and Stabler." Never "Kathy and Elliot," or "The Stablers." While the only man in Kathy's life would only ever be Elliot, she could never be the only woman he loved.

"But I'm tired of justifying

So I say you'll…"

A tear made its way down Kathy's cheek as she prayed for the only thing she could ever want from her husband.

"Come home

Come home

Cause I've been waiting for you

For so long

For so long"

All the late nights she had lain awake in bed, alone, once again waiting for Elliot, came flooding back to her. She had always been the one left behind.

"And right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

The fight for you is all I've ever known

So come home"

(flashback)

Kathy drove down to the station house shakily. She'd been feeling off for a while, but when she'd throw up for the second morning in the row, she'd gotten a pregnancy test. As soon as the test had shown up positive, she knew it was positive. She pressed the elevator button for the right floor. Before she had even walked into the squad room, his voice floated into the hallway. She would recognize it anywhere. A few more steps, and there he was/ He was angry, she could tell, fighting with Munch about their latest case. But as soon as Olivia stood up to intervene, Kathy saw his gaze focus solely on her. As if everyone else in the room had suddenly disappeared.

Her confidence level dropped. In all honesty, she had to admit he looked great; better than she'd ever seen him. Separated life seemed to suit him much better than it did her. When he turned around and saw her standing there, she smiled slightly; hoping to see the same instant energy come into his eyes at her presence. But instead, they narrowed in worry. "Is everything okay?" he inquired immediately, as if she was the bringer of bad news. "I need to talk to you." "Okay," he replied, casting a glance at Olivia for support. But Olivia just nodded and smiled awkwardly at her and Elliot as they passed; there wasn't even the slightest hint of jealousy or longing.

What Kathy didn't see was Olivia staring after them, long after they had disappeared up the stairs.

He, always the gentleman, ushered her up the stairs and held the door open for her. "What's wrong?" he asked as soon as he shut it behind him. "Kids alright?" Kathy's heart broke a little; were the kids the only thing he cared about, did he not think of her at all? "They're fine." "But you aren't." Kathy sighed before continuing, trying to keep the hurt and blame from her voice. "You said you were ready to come home." Elliot cleared his throat and crossed his arms, unable to meet her eyes. Kathy's anger couldn't help but simmer, her suspicions confirmed. But this time she wasn't going to sit back and take it; she wasn't about to let him go back to Olivia without a fight. "Kathy, I'm sor…" "I don't care!" His eyes widened, not expecting the sudden flare of rage. Usually he was the one with anger problems.

"Damn hormones," she thought as she saw the shock on his face. She sighed, giving herself a moment to calm down, and when she spoke again, her voice was full of defeat. "Not about my pride…" Pride that was lost when her husband never came home. "Or my ego…" That was destroyed when her husband chose to spend all his time with his gorgeous. "Or anything else. I need you to come home now, Elliot. Not for the kids," she clarified, "For me." He paused for a moment, taking in her speech. "What's changed?" She almost couldn't say the words. Every time before, when she had told him she was pregnant, he had been overjoyed.

But something told her that this time would be different. That he wouldn't sweep her into an embrace and kiss her in delight.

"I'm pregnant."

Elliot could only stare in shock. "You're…you're what?" "You heard me the first time." Kathy crossed her arms over her baby defensively." Elliot let out a long breath, and rubbed his eyes wearily. "Okay, give me a few days to pack up. But I'll come home tonight." He was already moving towards the door. "Tell the kids I love them. I have to get back to work." And with that, he was gone. Gone back to his job and Olivia, once again leaving his wife and family behind. Kathy wiped away her tears angrily before leaving the squad room, and jamming the elevator button for "down." She should've known better, life wasn't a fairy tale like she once believed. Yet somehow, she just kept trying, just kept fighting, even though she already knew how the story ended.

"I get lost in the beauty

Of everything I see

The world ain't half as bad

As they paint it to be"

(Flashback)

"Hey there you are!" Kathy grinned foolishly and waved at her rapidly approaching husband. "We waited for you as long as we could." It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon, and they had made plans to have a picnic in the park. Maureen was off flirting with guys, Kathleen was helping her mom set the table, Lizzie was on the playground, and Dickie was playing baseball with his friends. Elliot, of course, had been late because of work. But as soon as he got closer, she sensed something was wrong.

His eyes were darting erratically, searching for something. Just as Kathy was about to ask him what was wrong, he ran off. Concerned, she watched him carefully, waiting to see what he would do. Her eyes narrowed, suddenly wary. He wasn't looking for Olivia…was he? "Mommy!" Kathleen was tugging on her skirt, and Kathy was forced to tear her eyes away. "I have a boo-boo." "Aw, here, I'll kiss it and make it better." When Kathy could look up again, Elliot was back with Dickie in his arms and a big smile on his face. "Hey baby, sorry I'm late," he said cheerily, kissing her. She couldn't help but smile back; just being around him a cause for happiness. If life was this good when they were together, how could he bear not coming home? How could he say that the world was so despicable, when they were so happy?

"If all the sons

If all the daughters

Stopped to take it in

Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin

It might start now

Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud

Until then…"

(Flashback)

Kathy sat at the kitchen table, the light above her the only one in the entire house. It was late, the kids had long gone to sleep, and Elliot, as usual, hadn't come home yet. Guilt was eating her alive, she thought wryly, as she tapped her pencil on the stack of paper in front of her. Divorce papers. Maybe divorce was a sin in the Catholic religion, but she thought that God could forgive her this time. She wasn't divorcing Elliot because she didn't love him enough; rather it was because she loved him too much. And she could no loner bear the restlessness in his eyes when he came home, and the way he longed for another woman when he held her in his arms.

She was in no way bitter towards Olivia or Elliot for that matter. She knew Elliot wasn't doing this for physical needs. In fact, she doubted the two had ever had sex. It was something deeper, a connection between them that nothing and no one could ever sever. But whenever she tried to ask him about it, he'd always say the same thing. "She's my best friend, and we're partners. Of course I care." Sighing again, she looked down at the papers again. She could barely read the Legalese, let alone understand it. Her head was starting to throb. "Mom."

Kathy jumped at the sound of her oldest daughter's voice. "Oh, you scared me. What are you doing here?" Maureen ignored the question. "You and Dad are getting divorced." She said it neither as a question nor as an accusation. It was simply a fact. Kathy rubbed her hands over her face wearily; she knew it was no use to deny it. Like father like daughter, Maureen had inherited her father's interrogation skills. "Yeah. We might be." Maureen nodded, and casually remarked, "Kathleen's going to throw a fit. And Dickie and Lizzie will start crying. None of them will take it very well."

"Yeah I know. I…I don't know how to break it to them yet." Maureen, sensing her mother's worry and anxiety, gave her a hug. "Hey, look on the bright side. You won't have to be mad and resentful about him not coming home anymore. Maybe once all the crap of marriage is gone, you guys can be friends." Kathy squeezed her back, proud to have raised such a wise daughter. They sat together in silence, both staring off into space, wondering what tomorrow would hold.

"Come home

Come home

Cause I've been waiting for you

For so long

For so long

And right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

The fight for you is all I've ever known

So come home"

The tears were running freely down her cheeks now.

"Everything I can' be

Is everything you should be

And that's why I need you here

Everything I can't be

Is everything you should be

And that's why I need you here

So hear this now…"

(Flashback)

It was the day of the accident. Kathy sat in the hospital bed, cradling her baby in her arms. Her miracle baby, the magical lasso that had pulled Elliot back to her. He stirred briefly, gurgling softly before settling back into sleep. Kathy's heart filled with a mix of love and fear. He was so small and fragile; so dependent on her. She was over forty, long past the usual child bearing age. And if Elliot left again…"Kathy." There he was. He rushed to her bedside, and put a hand on her cheek. Kathy couldn't stop the tears from filling her eyes; she wanted so desperately to believe that the worry in his eyes was really for her and not just for the baby. Still, out of habit, the first words out of her mouth was, "It's a boy." He took another step forward, eyes glancing down at the baby only momentarily, before resting his forehead against hers.

Hardly daring to believe it, she closed her eyes; allowing all her fears and insecurities fade away for just a moment. Finally he pulled away, and looked down at his sleeping child. Reflexively she held him out, and laid him in Elliot's arms. The baby gurgled again, as if sensing his father for the first time. "Hey, little man, welcome to the world," Elliot said, with the ease in his voice only his children, and Olivia, could cause. "I'm your Daddy." Kathy wanted so badly to explain to him that the baby was, and only could be, his. She had never loved anyone but him; her heart was nearly consumed with the vastness of her love for her husband.

"You are his father," she whispered, trying to convey all her emotions into those four words. He looked at her, the happiness in his face dying as soon as he took his eyes off his son. "I know," he replied, almost defensively. Then there was silence, the only connection between them being their newborn son. That's how it had always been, at least as far back as Kathy could remember. Right then, the nurse walked in, seemingly oblivious of the tension in the room. "HI, Mrs. Stabler," she said brightly, while checking Kathy's vitals. "You feeling okay? You gave us quite a scare in the ambulance." "Yeah, fine." "And I take it you must be Mr. Stabler," the nurse said, shaking Elliot's hand. "Your son's gonna be a heartbreaker when he grows up." Elliot smiled and looked at his son in pride. "Thank you very much."

The nurse pulled a pencil from behind her ear and picked up the clipboard by the bed. "So have you picked a name?" Kathy looked at Elliot, but his gaze was already wandering. TO the woman slumped against the wall outside the room; with a blood stained shirt and weary eyes. Right then, Kathy realized that she'd never be able to keep her husband's attention a way from Olivia. No matter how hard she tried or how much she loved him, Kathy could never be the woman that occupied Elliot's heart. Finally, she decided what to do. "Yes as a matter of face, I have. I'd like to name him after my wonderful husband, Elliot." Kathy said in a sickly sweet tone of voice. The edges of the nurse's eyes crinkled as she smiled again. "Oh how sweet. All right, meet your son, Elliot Stabler Jr."

Elliot met Kathy's eyes; his questioning, hers hard. Now he didn't have a voice but be tied to his family. No matter how often he didn't come home, or how hard he tried to distance himself from her, he couldn't escape. At least, he nodded. "Okay. Elliot Stabler Junior." Giving his son a kiss, he said, "Excuse me for a moment, there's something I have to take care of." And again, as was the routine, Kathy sat back and waited for her husband to come back to her.

"Come home

Come home

Cause I've been waiting for you

For so long

For so long

And right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

The fight for you is all I've ever known

So come home

Come home"

The sound of her sobbing filled the empty church. She lifted her tearstained face to figure of the Virgin Mary and the smiling Baby Jesus in front of her. Suddenly filled with a terrible jealously, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the family they made. She thought of her own sleeping children, the onesshe had left to come pray for her own troubles."How did you do it? How did you manage to keep a beautiful baby and husband with you all those years? Why is it that your husband looks at your adoringly when I can't even get mine to come home?!" She lashed out in desparation to the statue in front of her, wanting answers. "Tell me!" But there was no answer.

Curling up into a ball, she shut her eyes tightly, no longer able to carry the burden of her reality on her shoulders. "Elliot," she choked out, as if he were her true savior. She could see him now; his blue eyes washed in sorrow as heenfolded her into his arms. "Oh Elliot."

"Come home."


End file.
